Leadership and SelfDeception Getting Out of the Box (Audible Audio Edition) The Arbinger Institute William Dufris Inc Blackstone Audio Books
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Most personal and organizational problems are the result of a little-known problem called "self-deception". We deceive ourselves into thinking we're doing the right thing for the right reason, but people won't follow a leader whose motives are selfish. The tricky thing is, we don't know that our motivation is flawed. Through an entertaining and highly instructive story, this audio shows what self-deception is, how people get trapped in it, how it undermines relationships and organizational achievement, and, most importantly, the surprising way to solve it.
The Arbinger Institute is a consulting firm and scholarly consortium that includes people trained in business, law, economics, philosophy, the family, education, and psychology. Arbinger has worked with leaders from such major organizations as Microsoft, 3M, Cornell University, and the U.S. Navy.
Leadership and SelfDeception Getting Out of the Box (Audible Audio Edition) The Arbinger Institute William Dufris Inc Blackstone Audio Books
This book presents simple concepts in an overly complicated and convoluted way that may leaver the reader wondering, “Exactly what are they saying here?” When all the sand is swept away, the pearl of wisdom that remains is this idea: if you behave like an insensitive jerk, you will view others as objects, not people, and blame them for the problems possibly caused by your behavior, and will not realize how your actions are contributing to the problem. The solution is to be a thoughtful, considerate person who values the thoughts, feelings and opinions of others and does not run roughshod over them. If you are not sure if you are a jerk, look at your relationships with others. If you have widespread conflict in different areas of your lives: work, family, and friends, then you are probably acting like a jerk. If you have scattered conflicts from time to time with a few individuals, then chances are those people are the problem. The book does have an interesting anecdote about a man who is woken by his crying baby, and then lies there hoping his wife will address the baby’s needs, and when she doesn’t, he starts blaming her for being lazy and inconsiderate.The audience for the book appears to be hard charging executives who run roughshod over their subordinates and families. While most of the book points out the problems of how being in the box, as the term is used in the book, it does not really offer any details on how to change behavior. Instead it points people toward the sequel entitled “The Anatomy of Peace.” The ideas in this book are covered in a clear and direct way in the book “The Servant: A Simple Story about the True Essence of Leadership” by James C. Hunter. Both books are written using a fictional business executive who is having difficulties in his work and personal life, and through training by an enlightened person, realizes his problems and reforms his ways. While story is a useful way of delivering these concepts, I would like to see real-world examples of actual people who have been transformed by these realizations.
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Leadership and SelfDeception Getting Out of the Box (Audible Audio Edition) The Arbinger Institute William Dufris Inc Blackstone Audio Books Reviews
Maybe…this might be my most important book recommendation for you this year.
The title…timely. The contents…convicting.
Last week, while reflecting on issues of leadership character and humility, I found not one, but two copies on my bookshelf of “Leadership and Self-Deception Getting Out of the Box.” I had never read the book (to my chagrin).
So my wife read it first this weekend—and her praise was effusive. Then I read it. (Am I the only leader that missed this gem?) I should have read it years ago (and my former staff and family would agree). If you haven’t read the book—or leveraged the insights for your organization or family—drop everything and read “Leadership and Self-Deception.” Here’s why
REASON #1 SELF-DECEPTION IS RAMPANT. You don’t need this book to recognize how other leaders are blind to their own self-deception—but it will give you handles (and a practical metaphor) for understanding the blindness.
REASON #2 I AM BLIND TO MY OWN BLINDNESS. Whew. (Did I mention “convicting” and serious gut-checking?) While trying to figure out the sin and self-deception in other leaders, I wondered, how did the authors insert mirrors on every convicting page?
In Scott Rodin’s book, “The Steward Leader,” he reminds us, “If I could put one Bible verse on the desk of every pastor and every Christian leader in the world, it would be this ‘If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us’ (1 John 18).”
REASON #3 THE “BOX” METAPHOR. Powerful. Trust me—read and study this book with your team (and family) and you’ll be using the “box” metaphor within an hour. The second edition of “Leadership and Self-Deception” includes a short section on how to maximize the book’s impact. The authors list stunning (stunning!) examples of how the principles have transformed organizations (nonprofit and for-profit) and even police departments. In Japan, a word-of-mouth movement has launched “out-of-the-box” clubs.
The business novel/fable/story format makes for an easy read (about three hours) with memorable characters, but—warning—it’s not a comfortable read.
REASON #4 FAITH-BASED ALIGNMENT. While the principles of Leadership and Self-Deception are not faith-based per se—they actually are. For readers who are Christ-followers, you’ll salivate at the opportunity to integrate “Leadership and Self-Deception” with biblical wisdom.
And speaking of alignment, you’ll appreciate how “Leadership and Self-Deception” enhances the insights, especially, of many other books I’ve reviewed, including The Cure What if God isn't who you think He is and neither are you? The Advantage, Leaders Eat Last, Broken and Whole, Leading Me, Serve Strong, and What Got You Here, Won’t Get You There (to name just a few).
REASON #5 REFRESHING HUMILITY—NO AUTHOR NAMES! Really! Published by The Arbinger Institute, these leaders practice what they preach—and share the credit for this book with all of their team members, including non-writers. Hence—author names are not revealed. (And note the book has sold over one million copies.)
So, could this book help you and your leadership team? Yes! From the authors “…the myriad ways in which people have used this book and its ideas fall within five broad areas of application “1) applicant screening and hiring, 2) leadership and team building, 3) conflict resolution, 4) accountability transformation, and 5) personal growth and development.”
Perhaps you like the fictional story self-help book, where the author makes up a person, a company, and situations, and then uses this fiction to deliver a message. Personally, I don't like this style. First, it's entirely made up, so there's no fact or experience to base any conclusions on, it's entirely a work of fiction. Second, it's painfully badly written, the examples are incredibly overdone, the people quite clueless. Third, it's done to hide the lack of information in the book. By turning it into a story, it helps hide how little information is actually there. The information in this book could be expressed in a single chapter, maybe even a single page.
Large consulting companies write throw away books like this for their seminars and to gain credibility for their consulting practices. That's why there is no author on the book, just "Arbinger Institute". Don't be fooled by the sales numbers, they probably all come from seminars they put on, that include the book in the price.
Save your time.
As an executive coach, I use books as neutral way to get a person to think things through more deeply. Self-deception is a tough subject. It is not the role of a coach to make such judgments, yet it may be appropriate to provide material to challenge a person.
This book was recommended to me by a fellow who was seriously self-deceptive. He and I have since recommended it to many others.
Unlike many unlikable books that dwell too much on story more than bullet points, I found myself engrossed in this story. Living it out with the author over several days, maybe weeks of reading, helped bring it to life.
This is a pretty gentle way to bring up and work through a very hard subject. Read it for yourself first. Change yourself before trying to change somebody else.
This book presents simple concepts in an overly complicated and convoluted way that may leaver the reader wondering, “Exactly what are they saying here?” When all the sand is swept away, the pearl of wisdom that remains is this idea if you behave like an insensitive jerk, you will view others as objects, not people, and blame them for the problems possibly caused by your behavior, and will not realize how your actions are contributing to the problem. The solution is to be a thoughtful, considerate person who values the thoughts, feelings and opinions of others and does not run roughshod over them. If you are not sure if you are a jerk, look at your relationships with others. If you have widespread conflict in different areas of your lives work, family, and friends, then you are probably acting like a jerk. If you have scattered conflicts from time to time with a few individuals, then chances are those people are the problem. The book does have an interesting anecdote about a man who is woken by his crying baby, and then lies there hoping his wife will address the baby’s needs, and when she doesn’t, he starts blaming her for being lazy and inconsiderate.
The audience for the book appears to be hard charging executives who run roughshod over their subordinates and families. While most of the book points out the problems of how being in the box, as the term is used in the book, it does not really offer any details on how to change behavior. Instead it points people toward the sequel entitled “The Anatomy of Peace.” The ideas in this book are covered in a clear and direct way in the book “The Servant A Simple Story about the True Essence of Leadership” by James C. Hunter. Both books are written using a fictional business executive who is having difficulties in his work and personal life, and through training by an enlightened person, realizes his problems and reforms his ways. While story is a useful way of delivering these concepts, I would like to see real-world examples of actual people who have been transformed by these realizations.
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